April 11, 2015

Whilst on our vacation in Vigan, my sister and I was in this Milk Tea place(We drank there twice., in two different days.). As the majority of people in facebook is freaking out because apparently people got poisoned by drinking Milk Tea, I would like to clarify I was drinking iced "infused from a tea bag" kind of tea. It's a fruit tea type.

April 07, 2015

To be honest, I find it very dangerous for me to look back on things. For I tend to get lost and get stuck in that period. It has been 4 months eversince that faithful day, yet I still remember it like yesterday.

I was clearing out some space on my phone, as well as my laptop that I decided to put together a little montage of one of the most memorable nights of my life.

December 7, 2014. That one night when The Red Bullet Live in Manila happened.

March 14, 2015

A saying goes, "Some days, you just have to create your own sunshine.".

As I write this entry, I swore to myself that in some way I'm getting a hang of things, I'm trying to get through such an emotional slump. Yet, I feel so drained. So out of my element.

Words are powerful. They can either make of break a person. In my journey to emotional stability, if you could call it that,

I find it a must for me to surround myself with people and things that makes me at ease. I clean a lot to get my mind off of things. I listen to music a lot to end the overthinking. I kiss my little puppy on his forehead all the time to assure myself that I have this little friend I could hold on to in times of vulnerability. I try so hard to be free from those elements that make me hate myself the most.

But alas, words are so sharp. Sometimes, you just don't see them coming right at you. Especially from the people you hold dear to your heart.

It's hard. I must admit. I had a hard time drinking tea, or even eating a half four cheese pizza. I found myself all choked up, looking for my little Loki, and in tears. Never have I ever felt so stupid, worthless, and of no use in my life.

It could be because of my period. Or the lack of sleep due to a dashing korean actor. But at the end of rhe day, it all boils down to one thing... I was hurt.

I've had my fair shares of hard emotional battles the past year, and I'm healing. Yet this one blow had me knocked out.

To be honest, I don't have any counter attack, nor a revenge plan to prove this person wrong. I'm still currently in this state of reflection, and isolation. I honestly want to get out from it, damn it! I don't deserve this kind of thoughts to be inside my head. I don't want it to stay in there haunting me.

I know that for now... no matter how much it hurts, I know that I will look back and tell myself... see you got through it. A person should never let anyone every dull one's sparkle. As I face another tomorrow, I wish myself all the best. With a positive mind, positive vibes and hopefully a positive life again.

Here I go again. Funny. I've been in this unhealthy cycle of trying to get through each and every day with that darn feeling of accomplishing nothing. And I guess it went on for months(or it felt like that, since now that I've counted it's been only a month since.). Which I dread... so much. This feeling of dryness, was honestly never in my mental vision board to begin with, and I felt stuck. And yet, I didn't do much about it. I let it drag me to nowhere.

This past month, I found myself running in the same circle. And it was hard. I watch people around me take their step forward towards something, may it be big or small, at least they were moving forward towards something. And I envy that. With nothing but admiration and ideas, I question myself each and every, why the hell am I stuck here? Where has the go-getter that I was before had gone? Did she leave? Is she stuck somewhere in the past, and can't get through today?

And with that out of my system... I'm giving myself a little message.

HEY YOU... YES YOU... WAKE UP!

Have breakfast. Don't snooze, wake the fuck up! Get that tea, and drink it with all those positive thoughts. You will get through another day without thinking you've wasted it. Feed Loki on time as well, for you always tend to be late about that. And it makes little Loki sad. Get moving! Be inspired. Love. Take a leap. Keep on crossing off all those things on your list, it's never too late. Don't give up. Go to bed early, you've been always up all night your brain is so close to rotting itself away. Believe in yourself. I swear, you will get past this.

Keep moving forward, Laline. It's not yet the end.